A Simple Habit to Cure social Anxiety
People with social anxiety trouble in many areas of their life. They might have trouble maintaining friendships, finding a life patterner or even going through the small interactions of their everyday life. In many cases social anxiety is developed through the negative beliefs about oneself or some past event such as being bullied or rejected. The person with social anxiety might have difficulty getting out of his comfort zone and there are often fear of people disapproving or getting embarrassed. So, if daily interactions are difficult then that is a good reason to overcome your social anxiety.
Social anxiety is often confused with introversion. Social anxiety is the fear of being watched or judged. While introversion is just preferring alone time. Introverts like to keep their thoughts to themselves or talk to a small trusted group of people. Social interaction might be easy for an introvert but it might be paralyzing for someone with social anxiety. But it is also possible for a person to have both at the same time.
While everyone gets a little nervous when they meet new people or encounter new situations in life and that much anxiety is manageable but the intensity is higher in social and anxiety and makes them miss upon the many fun events and career opportunities. Now confidence is something that can be worked upon and built over time but that requires conscious effort and long term commitment. But as you go about the process it becomes more and more natural and your identity starts to change as you start having fun in the process.
In order to cure social anxiety change in the belief system is required and the best way to do that is exposure to fearful situations i.e. doing things that make you uncomfortable. One way of doing that is to make a habit of stepping out of your comfort zone on a daily basis through social interactions, I like to call this habit “The Ritual”. This could mean talking to some new people everyday in the park or in the library or going out once a week at places that you usually do not go to. Take out 10 to 20 minutes of your day just to interact with people. While initially the conversations may be small and you might feel that they are meaningless but eventually you will get better at them.
I personally used this habit to cure my own social anxiety. I was really terrible at it and I used to feel horrified the moment I had to step out and I had really negative thoughts about myself that I am not good enough and it was very difficult for me to face any social situation. My body language always showed sense of fear and I rarely interacted with people. It was not that I did not want to but it was really difficult for me to do so. I used to go to a library at that time and apart from my studies my target was to talk to just one person on a daily basis. It was a really new experience for me and one that I enjoyed the most.
Initially it was very difficult to approach anyone to talk to my heart started pounding but I still followed the habit everyday and slowly I realized that it was not that difficult and beliefs started to change. Initially, the conversations lasted only for a few minutes. Just saying hello what are you preparing for? How much time do you spend here etc. But after a few weeks of doing this I got really better at doing this and soon most people their became my friends. And I got really better at expressing my thoughts, also my body language and confidence started improving and I found that I was able to communicate much more effectively with my family members and at college. Soon I changed the habit to interacting with one girl every single day and I have never felt shy around girls since then.
And their were bad days as well when people did not reacted well and I felt disappointed but eventually I learnt whom you should spend your time around and what are the appropriate ways to actually interact with people.
I have continued this habit for a really long time now and over the years I have realized that this habit can improve any aspect of your relationships and social anxiety is just one of them. The only thing that is required is to put time and energy. And the comfort zone may be your beliefs, limitation of time, the patience it takes to listen to someone or changing few things about yourselves as you try to figure out the issues in your relationships.
Also you can’t let your life revolve around others all the time so it is important to take breaks from it and take out time for yourself. Choosing to take time alone to recharge your energy is a healthy and self aware choice. And you don’t have to be perfect, be comfortable at who you are. And just improve aspects of your life which are important to you and reward yourselves for the same.
